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Just wondering if you have any insight when it comes to dating someone older (27) when you’re still in college? I don’t really want to downplay that I’m still in school, but it highlights how different our lives are when it’s brought up. I think it makes him feel old & like we have less in common…? But I also want to share what’s going on in my life, even if it is just bitching about having to go to chapter or being stoked for homecoming. He’s supportive but it gets awkward.
This is a good one. If you’re dating a 27 year old and you’re still in college, you need to make sure there is mutual respect of each others lives. You shouldn’t worry about not talking about chapter and homecoming because then you aren’t being yourself. This guy should know that this is your life right now and if he can’t accept that then he’s not being fair. You said he’s supportive though…that’s good. You could try to involve him when you’re dealing with your college struggles. Chances are he’s been through it all before. He could have some really good advice. Take advantage of his experience.
But you also need to respect where he is in his life right now. He IS in a different place than you and has different priorities. He may not want to go out with you and your friends every weekend till 4am or he may be really busy with work and can’t text you all day, everyday. You just have to accept that and do your own thing. Being independent is really important in these situations . It shows him you’re mature enough to handle the relationship without giving up the things you love to do in college or being someone you’re not.
Here’s some comforting words: A lot of older guys date college girls for a reason.
1) Sometimes they aren’t ready to settle down and girls their age are usually thinking about marriage. Obviously college girls aren’t thinking about that. BOOM, pressure-free relationship.
2) College girls remind them of their fun college days. They get to relive it via you.
3) College girls are good for their ego. They are easier to impress. (Usually.)
So basically, don’t worry so much. Make light of the fact that there is an age difference. This could turn into a great relationship…you never know. If anything, it will be a really beneficial learning experience. Just make sure he is respecting you and you are respecting him.
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This is the summer before my senior year of college, and I have realized I’m getting tired of the hookup scene (not that it isnt fun), and kind of want something more, but I feel like guys don’t see me that way. How can I change things?
Sounds like you’re maturing a lot. Good for you. It can be hard to change old habits. In college, you are immersed in hook up culture and girls tend to have that young, wild and free thing going on. If it’s getting old for you, that’s a good sign. Now you just have to learn how to give off that vibe to guys.
There’s a few things you should keep in mind:
1) Be yourself. Don’t act passionate about things you aren’t really passionate about. Don’t try to sound more intellectual than you really are. Don’t pretend to love music you never listen to. Eventually he’s going to see the fakeness of the connection you are trying to make. Make real connections, and if you can’t, maybe you aren’t right for each other.
2) Hold out. I know there is a lot of controversy about this. Yeah, there are quite a few exceptions to the rule. But, for the most part, a guy will respect you more if you don’t have jump into bed with him. To be fair, it goes both ways: a guy who pressures you to have sex too soon is probably not the right guy for you anyway.
3) Speaking of the “right guy,” make sure the guy you are going after isn’t a jerk! If he’s a just some college punk who doesn’t want a relationship and wants to pull as many chicks as he can..stay away from him! That’s not the kind of guy you want..and they are EVERYWHERE. So don’t get discouraged if a guy like that rejects you because you’re not giving him what he wants…you don’t want him anyway. The right guy will want you more because of it.
4) Just have fun and relax. The more you worry about finding a relationship, the more desperate you become, and it shows. You want to go out and put yourself out there and be available but don’t make finding a boyfriend your main priority. The best things come to you when you’re not looking for it and you least expect it. Just take this last year of college to worry about yourself and focus on school, your hobbies and your friends. I guarantee you will feel more confident and independent…two very attractive qualities to men. Just do your thing…make lasting memories because senior year comes and goes fast! Make the most of it.
Hope this helps. Ask me more if you’d like.
I’m a sophomore in college. I’ve been hooking up with this junior frat guy for about a month and a half now. We’re having sex and we go out with our friends together but we never go on dates. We see each other a 2 or 3 nights a week and I’m starting to feel more and more attached to him, but I’m not so sure he feels the same way. Is there a chance this could turn into a relationship or will be like this forever?
First of all, every situation is different. Sometimes these situations turn into great relationships and sometimes they just stay the way they are until they fade out. The most important thing is that you do not feel that you are being disrespected. If you’re both just having fun and keeping things light…more power to you. But the second you feel like you aren’t being treated the way you want to be treated…you gotta start making some changes. First of all, if you want this guy to see you in a different way, I would change up the routine a little bit and see how he reacts. The way that people fall for each other is when something “clicks.” When I say “click,” I mean that you two need to connect in a way that you never have before. He has to see you in a different light than when he didn’t really see you as a potential girlfriend. And obviously whatever you are doing right now isn’t causing much clicking…if that makes sense. For example, a friend of mine was seeing a guy for a while and it wasn’t anything serious. They didn’t go out to dinner or on dates…but she wasn’t really happy about that. One day, knowing he was a dog lover, she invited him to go look at puppies with her because she was thinking of buying dog. He couldn’t resist an invitation to play with puppies all day. Spending the day together doing something fun that they had never done before…something CLICKED. They started dating a few weeks later…
Also keep in mind that he’s a junior in college and a frat bro…if he doesn’t want anything serious that’s probably the reason…NOT you. Maybe if he were older, things would’ve been different. In any case, you deserve better, I’m sure.
…and I have experienced pretty much every single thing you could possibly experience at college, I would like to help out anyone who has any questions for me. Ask me anything, I will try and post all of the questions on my Tumblr and answer them for you.
Seriously…even a few inches more would suffice.
WHO IS THE YELLOW KING?!??!?!
Stage 1: The expectations
Stage 2: Sleeping.
Stage 3: Eating EVERYTHING
Stage 4: SHOPPING
Stage 5: Getting drunk and seeing your high school ex
Stage 6: Getting drunk on Christmas
Stage 7: Getting drunk in the city for New Years Eve
Stage 8: Your family starts to drive you crazy
Stage 9: The night before you go back to school and realize you have to do your own laundry again